How and When to Divorce Your Spouse
Divorce Help in Ending a Relationship

When you and your spouse married, you were determined not to become a statistic. You did everything you could think of to make it work. Now, however, you're seeking divorce help in ending a relationship. How did this happen?

Many Couples are Ending a Relationship: The Truth is, You are Not Alone

When the agonizing decision is made to end a marriage, a sense of failure, depression and loss can lead to loneliness and isolation.

You are not alone. According to www.divorcerate.org, the frequency of divorce is on the rise:

♦ For first marriages, the divorce rate is approximately 41%

♦ For those who marry a second time, there's a divorce rate of roughly 60%

♦ Third marriages fare the worst of all, with a divorce rate of nearly 73%

These statistics, while certainly striking, tell us that making a marriage work in our modern, high speed world is more difficult than ever. If you find yourself needing divorce help in ending a relationship, you are not solely responsible. During this painful time, it's important that you love yourself - and that means resisting the urge to assign blame.

There are so many reasons why a typical marriage fails that it might be surprising when any couple can stay together!

Here are some common marital problems that lead to ending a relationship:

1. Finances - You've heard it before. One of the most frequently cited reasons people seek divorce help in ending a relationship is their continual disagreement over money: their spending habits, saving rates, bills, and inheritances. There seems to be no end to the conflict revolving around financial matters.

2. Infidelity - Another relationship breakdown issue that has become the symbol of modern day divorce. Many divorce petitions are filed because one or both partners have been unfaithful. Affairs are often the precursor to a spouse looking for divorce help.

3. Communication/Changes in Priorities - This problem may be far less dramatic, but it remains one of the most common reasons people seek divorce help in ending a relationship. In many cases, a married couple just can't get on the same page about important aspects of their shared lives.

4. Sexual Issues - There are a number of marital disconnects in this category which can lead a spouse to seek divorce help. Differences in sex drives, turn-ons and sexual behaviors may lead to frustration and create distance between partners.

5. Addiction or Abuse - The drug or alcohol problems of a spouse, or patterns of mental or physical abuse, can lead to a no-win situation where ending a relationship is the only solution.

Divorce Help when You Stay
in the Marriage for the Children

One of the most common reasons given by those who stay in unhappy marriages is a sense of duty "to the children." But it's important to know the facts when it comes to the impact on your children when ending a relationship.

While divorce increases a child's risk for a variety of problems, not all children who grow up in divorced families suffer long-term impact. Statistics show that roughly 25% of children who experience the divorce of their parents will encounter some form of trauma, but that still leaves 75% of children who will cope remarkably well given the right support system.

Consider one simple truth while seeking divorce help: happy parents almost always equals happy kids. If you're involved in an unhealthy and miserable marriage, those feelings will trickle down to your children. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids in the long run is to end your relationship and move on.

Ending a Relationship:
The Signs Your Marriage May Be Over

Still unsure that you need divorce help? Consider the following as warning signs that you and your spouse are headed for divorce:

You or your spouse have mentally or emotionally left the marriage - It is not uncommon for even the happiest of married couples to imagine what life would might be like without their partner. But it may be time for divorce help if these musings have turned into a full-blown or wistful fantasy life.

The bad times outweigh the good - Divorce help in ending a relationship is frequently sought in marriages where arguing, crying, and general misery outnumber smiles, laughs, and the enjoyment of happy times together.

Secrecy - Once upon a time, you considered your husband or wife your best friend. Nowadays, you dread talking to him or her about anything. We pointed out earlier how important communication is in a healthy marriage. If you've tried to talk about your problems with your partner but haven't had much success, it may be time for divorce help.

Unchecked anger or frustration - If you or your spouse have developed a short, hair-trigger fuse... or stonewalls you during a conversation... or exhibit other unhealthy patterns of conflict resolution, this can be the last straw in an already shaky marriage.

You're in the trenches alone - You may be seeking divorce help in ending a relationship because every time you've tried to discuss your problems, your spouse just pulls away. Or perhaps you've worked so hard to make things right that you're exhausted and throwing in the towel.

Disinterest in sex - This does not refer to the normal day-to-day demands of work, family, and life in general which reduce the available time for intimacy. Instead, we're referring to the loss of interest in one or both partners which has impacted your physical relationship. Eventually, a prolonged lack of affection may lead to your seeking divorce help.

Divorce Help: A Checklist

When considering a divorce, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Beyond the emotional turmoil you feel, you may wonder just where to begin. Consider the following checklist to help you when seeking divorce help:

Before you move forward with a divorce filing, have you tried counseling or coaching with your spouse? Before ending a relationship, be satisfied that every attempt has been made to save your marriage.

When you decide that ending a relationship is your best option, seek divorce help from a qualified attorney.

Do your best to work with your soon-to-be-ex: Communication will be as important in the end as it was in the beginning of your relationship.

Open a savings account: Divorce help, even when mutually agreed upon, can be expensive. And then there's the prospect of starting over on your own. You may need money for a new car, an apartment, and child support payments too.

Learn as much as you can about the legal process of divorcing in your state, including but not limited to community property laws, debt distribution, and child custody arrangements.

Surround yourself with support as you begin the process of ending a relationship. You will need to lean on family, friends, and loved ones more than ever. But don't lean on them so much that you become a burden. A better idea is to work with a professional coach who can guide you throughout this process.

Divorce Help: Moving On

It may feel overwhelming at the moment, while facing the prospect of ending a relationship, but there is life after divorce. With adequate healing time and support, you can and will learn to love again.

Even when a spouse initiates a divorce, they too are left with a heavy load of baggage. Consider coaching for you and your children to make this painful life transition more bearable. A Professional Life Coach will help you create a step-by-step plan and provide valuable support throughout this process.

Call for a free coaching session today -
The first call is free and there is no obligation.
Call (805) 964-6574

Get Divorce Help Today

As a Professional Certified Life Coach, I'm in a unique position to help you. For nearly 30 years I've been coaching clients worldwide. My clients come to me for help because they want to move on from the trauma in their lives and begin to heal. Working together, we'll create a plan for your emotional survival too.

My work as a coach started in the early days of the Internet. It was during this period that I started the world's first online support group for people who became victims of Internet infidelity. We worked with hundreds of people worldwide, offering clients much needed support while they were rebuilding their lives.

Working together, you and I will create a successful process to help you let go of the past ... and help you move beyond your divorce so that ultimately you'll find happiness again.

If you need help surviving a divorce, you'll be in good hands as I've "been there" and have come back with some powerful insights to share. You can reach me by phone or make a coaching appointment through this website. There is no charge for your initial consultation.

About Me

I'm a Penn State and U.C.L.A. graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and a Master's Degree in Social Work. I'm a Certified Life Coach too, and I've worked with thousands of clients worldwide. You can see my professional credentials right here on this website.

I've created a professional coaching service that takes advantage of both my academic training over a period of two decades along with my professional experience coaching clients since 1981.

For more information about my services, feel free to call my office at 805-964-6574 or click here to go to my coaching page.

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