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Cheating on Your Wife
After Infidelity, How to Recover

Recover after Infidelity, Cheating on Your Wife or Husband, Get Help TodayOne of the most perplexing, but not uncommon, issues in marriages is how to recover after infidelity. Perhaps you've been caught cheating on your wife and she's offered to do whatever it takes to save your marriage. Or maybe after some soul searching, you've decided that you want to leave the affair and make things right again. No matter what your individual story may be, this article will help you begin the road to recovery with each other - and with yourselves - after infidelity has come between you.

After infidelity, feelings of betrayal, guilt, shame and abandonment may run rampant. Under these circumstances, it may seem like an almost impossible feat to recreate a loving and trusting marriage. Difficult, yes. But impossible - no.

The good news is that it's very possible to save your marriage after you've been cheating on your wife. In fact, some couples report an even greater marital satisfaction after infidelity than before it even began.

After Cheating on Your Wife
Can Your Marriage Survive?

There's been a lot of research done by a variety or marriage and family experts on what may happen to a couple after infidelity. The results show that most marriages do survive an affair. One study found that nearly 76 percent of the men and women surveyed were still married after infidelity - in many cases, even years later. This shows us that if both partners are willing to work things out, then the aftermath of an affair can be a time of hope and salvation - rather than inevitable divorce.

After Infidelity, The Three Stages of Recovery

Information from The National Healthy Marriage Resource Center shows there are three stages of recovery after infidelity.

♦ 1. The Roller Coaster Stage. This stage is referred to as the Roller Coaster, when the reactions to the affair create a volatile mix of intense emotions like denial, fierce anger, and depression. Accepting your emotions at this time, especially by seeking outside help from a professional, will be a big step in the direction of your healing from this traumatic - and sometimes uncontrollable - state.

♦ 2. Moratorium. This stage after infidelity involves less intense emotions. Making some sense out of the affair, and sorting through the aftermath of intense feelings, has now begun. Individual Life Coaching at this point can support the healing process, and help repair the division in your marriage after the affair has taken its toll.

♦ 3. Building Trust. In this third phase of recovery after infidelity has come between you, trust with your spouse may be rebuilt once again. Increasing your communication, working toward forgiveness, and reengaging in the relationship, all start to take place here. Earning back trust and working toward becoming sexually intimate again are crucial steps in this phase. Oftentimes, individual Life Coaching becomes an important resource in helping couples successfully complete this final stage in their recovery. It's here that life after infidelity reappears.

These stages of recovery, after infidelity has struck, are not fixed to any particular time frame. Every couple will go through these steps more slowly - or more smoothly - depending on the individuals involved and the willingness of both partners to heal separately, and also together. A Professional Life Coach can help you navigate these stages by helping you with new coping tools and communication skills.

Working through your personal issues in the aftermath of the affair will help you begin to heal and start putting the pieces of your life back together. If you haven't told your partner about the affair yet, this would be good time to get help in planning the best ways to present this to your spouse.

The most important thing at this point is to end all contacts with the person you with whom you were cheating on your wife. If it's impossible to completely end all ties (for example, if you two work together in the same office) then minimizing your contacts is crucial. Because of your betrayal and to make amends with your partner, your life should now be an open book. You'll want your partner to see that you're willing to do whatever it takes to put your marriage first and start the process of rebuilding trust.

While doing the work to help your marriage survive, after infidelity some personal reflection is especially important, as you consider the following.

Communicating With Your Spouse
After Infidelity has Infected your Marriage

Understand that your spouse will have many questions of her own, and may need to hear the details about your affair, which you may not be comfortable sharing. Work with a Life Coach to help you through this in a way that honors both of your feelings.

Above all else, never blame your spouse for the affair, even if it seems you were driven into the arms of another. If your needs haven't been met in your marriage, the person to work this out with is your spouse.

Let your partner set the pace of communication. She or he may need time on their own to help sort things out for themselves. They may also benefit from some coaching.

Regaining Trust after Infidelity

Communicating with your spouse after infidelity is one of the most important items of consideration.

Become accountable for your schedule and create an environment of open and honest communication about all facets of your life.

Encourage your partner to reengage with you on a deeply personal level. Respect their feelings while you remain open and honest with them at all times.

Have patience with your spouse while they work on learning to trust you again. Realize that your trust was destroyed after infidelity was out in the open. Your partner may seem suspicious at first, wanting to see if you are trustworthy or not.

Do what you say you are going to do. Remember, actions speak louder than words. This will help your partner understand that you are willing to rebuild the trust, no matter what.

Building a New Foundation of Intimacy after Infidelity

Once you've reached a level of healing after infidelity, it's time to build a new foundation of intimacy:

♦ Pursue your spouse as you would pursue any brand new love interest.

♦ Make plans to visit your favorite romantic spots together and recreate the sense of intimacy you two once shared.

♦ Get away together for a second honeymoon or even just a night in a secluded spot so the two of you can reconnect again.

After infidelity, your marriage can be restored as long as you are both committed to the process. Help is available if either you have been cheating on your wife - or she's been cheating on you.

After Infidelity, Get Help with your Recovery

Talk to a Life Coach after Cheating on Your Wife

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